I didn’t forget about my blogging, I’ve just had a LOT going on.
So real talk. If I left myself unchecked, I’m fairly certain my pack rat tendencies could turn full on hoarder status. SO, with the Vermont homestead dream visible in the distance, I’ve been on a mission to downsize our “stuff” because let’s face it, we don’t need to haul useless/excess crap 200 miles north. Now I’m talking huge tag sale, about a dozen very very full car loads of donations, along with garbage and recycling in the mix. AND IT STILL DOESN’T LOOK LIKE I’VE PUT A DAMN DENT IN ANYTHING! Well, that last statement isn’t entirely true, but it sure does feel that way some days. Today especially.
This past week New England unpredictability blessed me with Spring-like weather and some newfound uplifted spirit and motivation. Which turned into some amazing progress in the downsizing mission, but a fairly large setback in my mental health progress. Here is also where I should mention that I slipped on some ice (butt, meet concrete step) and hurt my tailbone pretty bad about two and a half weeks ago and am still in fairly constant, but tolerable, pain. So I’ve absolutely had plenty of frustration because of that situation as well.
Today I was a yo-yo of emotions and finally cracked. So here I am, trying to forgive myself and use my writing as therapy to just get it out and see the bigger picture. You know, the one where this day is just a rough day, not the epic failure that it felt like all day. I just needed some perspective I wasn’t allowing myself to see. If you ever need this, I highly suggest great music and great people. Alkaline Trio’s album Agony & Irony is playing in the background right now and I’m having a lovely conversation with an incredible new friend. She’s one of those people you hit it off with right off the bat and it feels like you’ve always been friends. I’m still very much struggling with my anxiety and depression tonight. However, I can see that there’s light over the horizon, and I know that things will get better. That I can get better.